Brief Intermission

Sorry guys, I got distracted reading a book (that happens occasionally) but I’m working on the next Collision Course again.

In the mean time, I thought I’d share this with you.¬† Wrote it last year just about this time, and it’s a Shakespereanized* version of one of my favorite web series: Red vs Blue, Episode 1 (contains foul language)

*note: I’m hardly a Shakespeare scholar, so it’s probably very bastardized version of it, but close enough. ūüėČ

Hope you enjoy, and CCIII will be along in the next day or two!



Pray, do attend!

You have my ear.

Have ever in your musings sought how we
Did come to be now in this place and time?

Tis of the ineffable mysteries.
How did we come hither? Be we the end
Of some unknown cosmic happenstance? Or
Whether by act of heaven’s vigilance
And purposed play to strut upon life’s stage?
I know not, but such steals even my sleep.

Pardon? I speak to our unfortunate
Abode in this vale!

I have erred indeed.

Why waxeth thee so upon the good Lord?

Tis naught.

Wish thee to discuss it further?

Trouble not thyself.

E’en so?

Yea, quite so.

But in earnest, what fate settled us thus?
Tis naught but a vale with neither inroad
nor out, set with no import of placement.

Tis so.

And our keep here is but a balance to
the Azure’s encampment yonder, yet e’en
distant fort is but an echo of our

As always in times of conflict betwixt.

Nay, heed me, for even if we by this
Very night were to away from this place,
What then but two forts within this vale would
Be in their holding, still of no import.
What ineffectual gaiety then?

Upon my query lend aid! For I did
Enlist with sole of purpose but to fight
The foreigner, yet find instead the foe
To be of azured hue.


Prithee, what of yonder gentlemen?

What say you?

Said I, what now of yonder gentlemen?

Angels and ministers of grace, inquire
No more of such things!

The gift of far-sight be with you alone,
I have no such aid! Beseech me not to
Hold my tongue for I shall not hold my sword-

Heed well, for they are but in deep discourse,
E’en as was ever so! Thus they were of
Half a fortnight passed, and thus they were still
Even when last you inquired not yet these
Five minutes passed! Attend, therefore, when next
You pray, ‘what now of yonder gentlemen?’
That they still shall be in discourse, and thus
They still shall be unmoving as ever!

Of what matter be their discourse?

Like poison to my blood, thou art.


Our talents are but wasted here. Know they
Not that there are greater discoveries
Of place and peoples we can instead war?

Tis even as you say! Thus should we lead.

Eunuchs! Come hither!

Fie upon me!

Yea! We come.

Collision Course II


For several minutes, the only sounds in the apartment came from the television, the two watchers frozen in silence as the scene played over and over with occasional commentary by the anchor.  When one anchor mentioned the time, Ella was snapped out of her trance.

“I’m late.¬† I have to go.”

“Wait-” Tanner was certain he had just missed an entire conversation. “What?”

“I have to go.”¬† Ella looked at her coffee, at Tanner, then back to the TV and said, “I have to go to work.”

“What? Ella-” Tanner began to protest, but she was already walking back to her room.¬† “They said not to go out!”

“They said not to go out if you could help it,” she countered.

“You can help it!”

“You call my boss and tell her that!”

“She can survive without a receptionist because no one should be coming in as a client!”

Ella returned with slacks on and a toothbrush sticking out of her mouth, which she was awkwardly attempting to argue around. “First, I’m not a receptionist, I’m a personal assistant and that means I don’t own my life.¬† And second, I don’t care what the news says, my boss pays my rent, so unless the world is actually ending, I have to go.”

“How are you even going to get there?”

She looked around a moment, as if the answer to that question was secretly hiding somewhere in her third-story, single bedroom apartment, before finally hazarding on, “…bus?”

Tanner pointed wildly at the television.¬† “There are no buses, Ella!¬† Everyone else is probably doing what they’re supposed to be doing and staying inside!”

“Then I’ll walk,” she said, returning to the bathroom to spit the toothpaste out.¬† “Wait, don’t you have a car?”

“It’s in the shop-” as if he would have let her take it anyway.¬† “Just tell her to turn on the news, for god-sake!”

“No, you don’t understand!¬† I have to be there or- or…” she came back into the living room, buttoning up her shirt as she floundered for a moment, trying to come up with a suitably horrific sounding consequence to her absence.¬† She finally settled on, “I’d have to be sick or dead, and preferably the latter, before I miss a day.”

“Ella!”¬† He grabbed her shoulders and turned her back square with the TV to remind her of exactly what it was she was supposed to be avoiding by not going out.¬† “Stop having whatever kind of mental breakdown you’re having right now and be reasonable.¬† No one is going out in that.¬† No one.”

To Ella, not going about her day like normal was a far worse fate, because it meant there was something that was so far outside of her control that it disrupted her entire life; not just social, not just work, not just home: her entire life.

Tanner took her silence as a good sign.¬† “Do you want me to stay with you?”

Ella nodded as she crumpled onto the couch in defeat.¬† “I could have stayed in bed.”

Tanner smirked, not that it sounded like a bad idea, but it would probably have been a bad idea to suggest it.  The thought was quickly pushed aside, however, as he looked back at the TV and wondered, if the world was about to end, what note would he want to go out on?


Collision Course

It was about this time every morning, as the alarm was going off and disturbing if not some pleasant dream then at the very least a comfortable sleep, that Ella would reaffirm that five-thirty AM should be taken out behind the proverbial woodshed and shot.  Further, when she had finally made it big and opened her own studio, no one would start before eleven AM.  And brunch would be catered in the employee lounge.  With mimosas, and Irish cream in her coffee.

All praise the snooze gods with their far-too-short nine minute worship sessions.  Alas, even the power of that almighty button could not overcome the cats who had decided that it was time for Ella to get up and feed them.  A double attack of relentless yowling by the empty dish and a ticklish, whiskery nose to the face had her admitting defeat.

Dean jumped off the bed, victorious, as Ella’s feet hit the floor and hunted around for two warm slippers to hide in.¬† Eyes only half open, she plodded down the hall to where Dean was waiting impatiently and Sam had taken to rhythmically banging the cabinet door as he tried to get to the bag of food inside.

Feed cats, pour coffee, turn on TV, two halves of bagel in the toaster; her morning routine required zero conscious thought and only the barest of motor skills to accomplish, not counting the acrobatics required to keep from tripping over the cats if they decided to weave around her feet.

The television was on mute and she wasn’t really watching it anyway, instead picking the little sleep crusties out of her eyes and contemplating the lack of coffee gods among ancient peoples.¬† Her musings were interrupted by way of a knock on her door.¬† This was entirely out of the scope of her reality at this time of morning, so it took a second, more urgent knock for her to relegate this anomaly to reality instead of something next door, the television, the cats, or her imagination.

In utter disregard of her appearance – hair sticking out in gravity-defying directions, flannel kitty pajama bottoms, and the ratty ten-year-old robe – she opened the door and stared at her upstairs neighbor.

“What are you doing, aren’t you paying attention?”¬† Judging by the wide-open eyes and the way he was pointing over her shoulder, she guessed it was something important.


Pushing past her, he went over and turned the volume up on her television, where the anchor was putting years of training to use in speaking in a calm and clear voice, advising people not to panic, remain in their homes if there was no need to go out, and if they already were, to find a safe area to congregate.  They would be updating as new information came in.

Elle blinked.¬† “Is this an April Fools joke or something?”

“It’s March.”

She thought for a moment, then countered, “Is this a late April Fools or something?”

“No, it’s real.”

She stared at the screen, deciding this was yet another good reason to outlaw five-thirty AM.


Don’t know where I’m going with this, so we’ll just have to find out together.¬† Also, you can stop whining now, Evan. ūüėõ

Hand made gifts, part two

So here is my second half of the Christmas crafting creations!

First, for my nephew who is constantly carting around an armload of books, DS, games and other stuff where ever he goes, I sewed him a Avatar: The Last Airbender themed messenger bag.  The back has a pocket with embroidered patches of the 4 element symbols.

Avatar bag: back pocket

Avatar bag: back pocket

Here is the front flap with the arrow.

Avatar bag, front flap

Avatar bag, front flap

And I lined it with a wonderful wool-feeling fabric. Not sure what it really is, I picked it up at a thrift store, but it’s very soft.¬† I was prepared for it to be a “eh, cool.” but not really interesting to an 11 yr old, so I was rather delighted when he actually took his other gifts and stuffed them inside.¬† He *used* it, so that was close enough to liking it in my book!¬† Especially since I was up until 2 AM Christmas morning finishing it! (I ended up having to use my sister’s sewing machine, I flat ran out of time and some of the seams would have been too thick to reasonably hand sew.)

Avatar bag: inside lining

Avatar bag: inside lining

Of course, now my mom wants one, too!¬† And I’ll likely end up making one for my sister as well, and I really want one myself!¬† So I have several more projects pending, and nope, not burnt out on them yet!

For my sister and her hubby’s new house, I made them a Dream Catcher as a house warming/Christmas present.¬† I snipped some branches from their new willow tree and steamed them on the stove until they were nice and pliable, then wound a few into hoops.¬† Picking the one I liked best, I used my yarn and wove the center pattern, adding a couple of beads, then a tuft of kitty fur (one of my cats is half brother to hers.)

I also snuck out to her horses and got some of Cayenne’s mane, then bound both it and some turkey feathers with leather strips.¬† Added a few more beads, some shells, and a bit of bison fleece and was able to present them with this.¬† They were both delighted which of course made me delighted as well!

Dream Catcher

Dream Catcher

For my sister and brother-in-law’s individual gifts, I wove hand-spun yarn into bracelets and added a shell as clasp, and their two shells are halves of the same, so they fit together as a pair.¬† This one is his, and it’s laying on his gift bag, which he loved.¬† He asked if I’d make some more bags for him, their tribe gifts them to certain people at ceremonies or for doing a favor for the family or some such thing.¬† So I’m going to make several for him, and embroider a Lummi eagle onto each one, or some other notable Lummi animal art figure (like a frog or whale or some such).

woven bracelet with shell

woven bracelet with shell

Here is my sister’s, again the shell is the mate to the above, but I made her colors a little brighter, though there are many of the same colors in both, her base warp was white yarn, and his was a blueish gray.

woven bracelet with shell

woven bracelet with shell

All in all, everyone loved their gifts and I’m so glad I had a chance to do hand-made this year!