My entry for a spoken word contest
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a science fiction-themed scene using nothing but dialogue; no prose, no blocking, just dialogue line followed by dialogue line.
I really enjoyed writing this one. I am proud that I really tested myself and had 5 different speakers in the story instead of going with a more traditional two speaker dialogue. Do tell me if you can follow who is speaking, and to whom. It makes sense in my head, of course, because I already know, but I would like your feedback on whether you could follow it and understand what is going on.
“My god, what the hell happened here?”
“That’s what we’re here to find out. Come on.”
“I’ve never seen this much blood… and the smell. Sir, I think…-”
“It’s alright, Sutter. Let it out. Get it out, but we have to keep moving.”
“Go ahead, Gizinski.”
“Sir, we’ve forced the main engine room doors; should have juice on in a minute.”
“Good work, Sergeant. Sutter? Take a deep breath, Sutter; that’s it. You ready to go on?”
“Not sure I really want to see more than I already have.”
“Maybe the Captain will hold your hand, Sutter.”
“Stow it, DeJung.”
“…Yes, Sir; I’m ready.”
“Okay; now when Gizinski gets the power back on- speak of the devil, that was quick-”
“Gizinski always finishes quick.”
“Last warning, DeJung! I mean it. Now, you two, get to work bringing the computer back online. We need to find out what went on down here.”
“Goddamn Trans-party’s wet dream if the papers get wind of this before we can figure out what really happened. They’ll just take the first thing they can get their claws in and run with whatever wild headline they throw on it. And the first report is always the one people believe…”
“Sir! System’s up, Sir.”
“Good. Can you access the officer’s logs?”
“I think… yes. They’re intact, but I’ll need your authorization code, Sir.”
“All right, there; now see what you can get.”
“And… we’re in.”
“Replay the captain’s log, final entry.”
“Captain’s log: date… I- I’m not even sure. Audio is down, I can’t make out the numbers on the screen, eyesight is almost gone. I don’t even know if this is recording… god I hope so. Crew casualties are at eighty-seven percent. That was the last report I got from medbay, I think that was yesterday? I sent Turk down to find out what he could; he hasn’t been back.
“The infection… eighty-seven percent in less than a week. Collins, Salyer, Hassan… Hassan’s wife just had a baby. Not a week old, already lost her dad. Oh god. We had a crew of two hundred and seventy.
“I think… I think this will be the last entry. Hard to breathe, now. If anyone finds this… – dear god, this had better be recording – if you’re hearing this, it’s too late. You can’t leave, you’ve got to order your ships to nuke the site. Do you hear me? You can’t carry this back. You’ll wipe out- you’ll kill them all. You’ll kill them all…”
“That… that’s it, Sir.”
“Sir? What do we do, Sir?”
“…Sutter, get the squad up here and assembled. DeJung, contact the Argon. Tell them… we’ll need comm relays to Earth for everyone down here. Ten minutes each. Tell them… tell them to ready nuclear torpedoes.”