I’m Sorry

I couldn’t drink the memories to oblivion
I couldn’t blink without seeing your face
I couldn’t walk without falling off the wagon
I couldn’t talk without losing my place
I couldn’t think of anything else to say
I couldn’t think of what else to do
I couldn’t save you from all of your enemies
When the enemy you fought was you

I couldn’t catch you, keep you from falling
I couldn’t catch the bullet in my hand
I couldn’t forget the sound of the hammer-fall
I couldn’t bury my head in the sand
I couldn’t make sense of the senseless
I couldn’t ransom the life that you stole
I didn’t have any pieces left to pick up
The family picture will always have a hole

I couldn’t forgive you for taking your life away
Couldn’t forgive me for letting you go
And I don’t want to learn to live with it
As the bottles on the table will show
Now I sit here with all of the lights off
As the scene plays over in my mind
If only I’d done something different
But time’s a tape you just can’t rewind
Writer’s Digest Wednesday Poetry Prompt: Worst Thing Ever Poems

For this week’s prompt, write the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Simple as that.

This poem was written a while ago, but brought back to my mind with today’s prompt and revised a little.  Truly, the worst thing that has ever happened to me was not just losing a family member to suicide, but not being able to stop it when it happened.  😦

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